Tales of Donkey life
by Rusty Raccoon
Summary: Based on my other fic "A Donkey in Human clothing". Vignettes exploring the thoughts and feelings of Stevie and the others during Stevie and Lampwick's stay.
1. Chapter 1

In _A donkey in Human Clothing_, I had a fair bit of time go by for Lampwick and Stevie. Reading another fic of points of view of varying characters from a game inspired this fic. What happened to Stevie, Lampwick and the others over those months and what sorts of things went through their minds?

This might be a bit OOC but hopefully it's not too bad.

- - -

The sunlight pours into the barn as a new day begins. I wake up from a wonderful dream where I was home with my Momma _and_ as a boy.

The sight of the barn, smell of the hay, wood and of the other donkeys greet me. The reality of my situation hits me as memories the peaceful slumber hid from me flow back into my mind.

I am a donkey and have been one for about a month.

Being dirty and stinky is annoying. I want to take a bath. The last time I took a bath was a few nights before I went to the island.

Always being naked is weird. I know I'm a donkey now and look different but it's weird that being a donkey means everyone can see me naked. Could they at least let me wear a shirt?

Hay, some oats, grass and water are all they feed us. They're not so bad. I wanted more at first and still do but not as much.

On the island I thought I could get away with doing things I wanted to do but couldn't because I'd get into trouble. Now, some of those things aren't bad because I'm a donkey and that's normal for donkeys. It's weird that people let me be naked and dirty and they don't complain.

Does all that mean I really am a donkey on the inside and not a boy? If that's true, is that bad?

I can understand Rose and the others. That's neat but braying isn't the same as talking. I want to talk to the humans; I want my old voice back!

Rose is sleeping next to me; she's starting to wake up. She's been real nice, almost like a – well, not like my Momma, maybe more like an aunt or something. I feel funny when she's close to me, I can't explain how I feel. My body wants something but I don't know what. I feel good when she's around. She's pretty and stuff. She even smells kinda nice, you know, better then the others.

I used to think donkeys smelled bad because of something bad they did or thought. You know, like they were bad and being bad somehow caused it. I know I was wrong. Donkeys smell bad because they can't help it.

I stretch after standing. I'm getting used to walking on four hooves but I still miss my hands and feet.

When I walk by a mirror – why do they have a mirror in here anyway – when I walk by it, the reflection I see is of a donkey. I know that's me but it doesn't _feel_ like me. It's like the island somehow glued this donkey over me. That donkey is somehow stealing everything I say and turning it into a bray. It feels like all I need to do is kick – or cut the donkey off me and I'll be a boy again.

Acting like a donkey still feels like I'm just acting. Yeah, it's making me want to do things and I guess like stuff donkeys like but it feels just like I'm still on the island and only doing the bad stuff 'cause the other kids told me to.

I know that donkey really is me and isn't some weird kind of costume but I'm still a boy on the inside – right? I don't want to give in. Doing that would mean the bad man that did this to me wins and I'll be a donkey forever!

How come thinking about doing that makes it seem kinda neat and like I'm saying _screw you I'm gonna like this anyway_ to him?

Rose is up. She's walking toward me.

Wait, was I just thinking about Rose like she's my girlfriend or teacher and I have a crush on her? I don't get it. She's a donkey; I shouldn't like her this way!

What if that means I really am a donkey – even on the inside? No, that's not possible. I'm not a donkey!

But how can say I'm a boy? I see the way people look at me. They look at me like I looked at other don—at donkeys when I was a boy.

Rich people give the same look to people that are poor or live on the streets. They think they're better then me just because I can't speak, have hooves, smell bad and don't wear clothes. I know they also think I'm a dumb animal that doesn't know anything. Even if that's all true now, it doesn't mean I don't have feelings any more. I'll never think of donkeys as bad because of that again now that I've gotten to know them.

Lampwick is different. He _was_ one of those big kids that told kids like me be bad. I don't think he's acting like a donkey. I think he really is a donkey and the donkey stuff is as normal to him as human stuff is to me. It's like he's just doing what he always wanted to do. He told me that he'd try to fight it and be a good boy but now it's like he thinks we're gonna be like this forever so we should enjoy it.

Should we have fun and like being donkeys? I thought this was punishment for being bad!

He says he likes that he doesn't hafta go to school any more. I think he likes being naked, dirty, braying and the humans expecting almost nothing from us. The sun _does_ feel kinda nice on my back when we're outside. Lampwick and even _Rose_ like it. Rose isn't bad so is liking the donkey stuff okay?

I don't know what Lampwick and Jen do when they go behind the barn. I guess they kiss, play, and stuff. Isn't kissing a donkey wrong? Lampwick would say that we're donkeys now so it's okay. I kinda want to kiss Rose and sniff her sometimes.

But if I play with Rose like a donkey plays, does that mean I don't want to be a boy anymore?

Is it wrong to fight it? I wanted to go back to school at first but every day I want to go back a little less and want to stay here and enjoy this a little more.

Rose is a donkey and she's not bad. But people say boys that are donkeys on the inside are bad! I don't get it! They say temptation is a bad thing. What if all these donkey things _are_ temptation and Lampwick is hurting himself by giving in and bad stuff will happen to him? I don't want to be bad or for bad stuff to happen to me! Maybe Lampwick is just being what he always was and that he wasn't a bad kid but a donkey in the body of a kid.

Fighting being a donkey is so hard though. If I do become a donkey for real can I still be Stevie. Can I be a good donkey?

It's almost time to eat. I'll ask Rose. Maybe she'll know.


	2. Rose Tinted Glasses

Stevie and Lampwick have been here a while. They say they used to be boys and some other human tricked them and turned them into donkeys. Stevie wouldn't lie to me and he knows stuff others donkeys don't know so it must be true.

I'm glad they're here now. It's less work for all of us and I like talking to Stevie. Lampwick is -- he's with Jen most of the time. Jen is always saying how cute Lampwick is and how he is. I've thought of asking him to play with me like he plays with Jen but I prefer Stevie.

Stevie _is_ cute. I know that once he gets bigger and calms down that I'll be able to have some healthy babies with him. He's still small and I know he wants to go home. I understand that but why does he want to be a boy? Being a donkey is fun!

I like talking to and protecting him. He told me about school and other human things. It sounds interesting but seems like so much to learn and remember. I don't get why humans are so serious all of the time.

Being human sounds so complicated! It kinda makes me glad to be a donkey. Why would humans say being a donkey is bad? What's the point of wanting to do stuff if we're not allowed to do it?

There must be a way to show Stevie that being a donkey can be fun! I _know_ he can be happy as a donkey. I want him to be happy.

He sometimes lets go. He's happy then, I can tell. It's weird though. It's like he thinks someone is going to catch him and be mad at him when he's doing the stuff we do. I don't get how doing donkey things when you're a donkey is bad.

I know he says he's still a boy inside and that he's lost something by becoming a donkey. I guess he does seem different then Jen, Butch or even Lampwick.

Please Stevie, you can be a donkey, I know you can. It's okay to be a donkey. You're not bad if you be a donkey.

It's a lot different for Lampwick.

At first, he tried to be a boy in the body of a donkey for Stevie. When Lampwick is around Stevie, Lampwick sometimes acts more decent and holds back. But when Stevie isn't around –I've seen how Lampwick acts when he's with Jen. When they're together, Lampwick _is_ a donkey. I can tell that's Lampwick as he really and wants to be.

I think it's great that Lampwick's realized being a donkey is great.

I see Stevie approaching. He looks like he wants to talk. We nuzzle as he gets close to me.

We eat grass together for a few minutes. I know Stevie likes the grass even though he'll say he doesn't. Sometimes I think he forgets that in his mind he shouldn't enjoy it. It's cute when he sees me look at him and starts frowning as he eats it.

Enjoying donkey stuff doesn't make Stevie bad. Of course he's gonna start to like donkey stuff after turning into a donkey! If he finds out that it's not so bad and starts to _like_ being a donkey, what's wrong with that?

I really need to talk to him.

Once we finish eating, we stand in the field, ready to start work. Lampwick didn't like it at first. Now, I know he likes it. He smells nice after working and I know that he knows how boring it would be just standing around all day every day. Why have our strength if we can't use it? I think we'd go nuts if we couldn't use our strength!

"Stevie, are you okay? You look worried," I say.

"I wanted to ask you something," Stevie says.

"What is it honey?"

"I kinda like the grass and stuff but isn't it wrong for me to enjoy it?" Stevie asks.

"Why would that be wrong?" I ask.

"Doesn't acting like a donkey make me a bad kid?"

"What do you mean by act like a donkey?" I ask.

Stevie seems to need time I think about that.

"I guess, you know, like, doin' donkey stuff like eating hay, braying, not wearing clothes and stuff," Stevie says.

I step closer to him, the warmth from his body feels comforting and I have a feeling he also feels the same about me. I allow myself to sample his scent. If he thinks he stinks, he's wrong. He smells wonderful. If only he were a bit older. Some day, Rose, some day, he'll make a great father.

For now, he needs help.

I hear Lampwick approach from behind.

"That's not actin' like a donkey Stevie," Lampwick says. "Acting like a donkey means doing what ya feel like and not thinking about if it's a good idea or not. It also means not wanting to learn and caring more about feeling good then anything else."

I bray a bray of discontent. I guess we do act like that times, but Lampwick had a choice when he was a boy. We never had any real choice.

"Sorry Rose, I don't mean you guys are bad, you're not bad," Lampwick says. "In fact, you're cute. Don't worry Stevie; she's your girlfriend, not mine. I won't take her from you."

Lampwick does have a point. I never really thought to say no to some of my desires. I never had a reason to unless a human told me not to.

Stevie once told me that humans have lots of reasons to say no to their desires. I don't get that. Why do they deny what makes them happy and feel good? Maybe feeling this way is why I'm a donkey, I dunno.

The human that fooled Stevie and Lampwick made them one of us after he encouraged them to go against saying no to things they liked. If he wanted to teach them a lesson, why change them into donkeys and make them live like us? Wouldn't that make them worse? Maybe he thought that if they thought or acted like us that they deserve to _be_ one of us.

Lampwick makes a great donkey. I know he's happy this way. He might want to go home but I know he doesn't want to be a boy any more.

I know Stevie only thought and acted like us that one time but even if he doesn't like it, he _is_ a donkey now. Enjoying it isn't a crime. Why live under human rules when you're a donkey? Even if he changes back some day, being a donkey won't mean he can't go back to being human as long as he remembers how. I know Stevie can do that!

"Stevie, you're a donkey right now and eating hay and grass isn't bad," I say.

Stevie's ears go down. "But I kinda like them. I feel like that's bad."

"Why would it be bad?" I ask.

"What if liking it means I'm going against being a boy?" Stevie asks.

"Come on Stevie, it's okay to enjoy it," Lampwick says. "We're donkeys now. It's like we all think we'll still like boy stuff even when we grow up and won't like adult stuff."

Stevie nodded. "It's like that. It's like if I change like that I'm not me any more. This is even worse!"

Lampwick shakes his head and nuzzles Stevie. "Oh Stevie, I thought the same when I was a kid. I know it's weird to like stuff you didn't before and to stop liking other stuff. Did you like the same stuff as a boy that you liked when you were younger?"

"I guess I don't. My Momma said I was growing up and changing too fast," Stevie says.

His ears perk up and Lampwick smiles.

"See Stevie, this is just another change. Sure, it's sudden, seems weird and even scary but once you get used to it, it's great! It's what ya do with those feelings and stuff that makes you Stevie, not what feelings ya have or don't have," Lampwick smiled.

I look at Lampwick and smile. What he said seems a bit too, I dunno, smart for him but he's still right.

"You only live once, why not enjoy it? We work hard, we deserve to have fun even if the fun we like now is the fun donkeys like," Lampwick says. "It's not bad, it's just different. Maybe ya will get to be a boy again some day. Why not enjoy bein' a donkey while you still can? Come on, it's not a crime to enjoy it."

"He's right Stevie. Saying you don't like stuff you do only makes things worse for you," I say.

"But, I don't want to forget how to be a boy or to like being a donkey so much that I don't want to be a boy anymore," Stevie says.

I nod. Yes, that is a worry but if it happens, it happens.

"Like, I still want to learn and do school stuff," Stevie says. "I don't want to forget everything!"

"How about this Stevie; I'll listen if you want to tell me about stuff you learned. But if you start not wanting to any more and want to do donkey stuff, then – I just want you to be happy. If you want to let go and decide you want to think of yourself as a donkey and to stay one even if you someday can change back, then it's okay -- all right? Remember, if you do that, it doesn't make you bad, it just means you changed and that's okay."

Stevie looks at Lampwick and then at me.

"Okay Rose. But what if I start wanting to do stuff to ya?"

I smile and nuzzle Stevie. Some day Stevie, some day I'll let you discover a whole new part of your world you'll wish you'd known about since day one.

"Then, I know you'll be the donkey I want to be doing that stuff."


End file.
